Welcome to Thee Darpocalism!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Byergit stein decided this must stop. To stop it there was built a big thingy. Pressed the on button ey did but what happened next only some people could tell in the time it too. “kerpowarzakenzoww!!!!!” said the chunky robot when it scratched on. It resembles a colossus tornadoes half cat half man and that was just the beginning, or so we thought… if only we hadn’t known what to feed the blaggard!!! “blangardo only wanted to fetch the head sac!” said the half cat man in defense of this handily bicycle safety inspector. But it was a trap! ZAP! Blangardow was neither here nor hither. After a while the on looking zowspowkt splikinzarque resorted to a sleepy potion. It fell asleep much to the astonishment wonder and admiration of balankard, brother of blangardo. Suddenly it started to rain dry rain. “it’s wet” said sankard. But sankard was a brain with ought a body and couldn’t possibly experience. It. Blankardo went to sleep and woke up in zommapfyorquein, a harsh place with some sand and dry fish moulds. “Blequrqewarghing!!!” exclaimed blankardo. Meanwhile the cause of the trazque-galacic zroque qwastic was known by the staw eater, a sexy fish named miss fish. A saque-time later miss fish phoned brargardenskwelly to see if the zap zwong-wrelly was a jelly wrelly. Turns out it wasn’t. meanwhile blankardo had stepped in a puddle in the desert. It was that puddle, not a magic puddle though. The fly varmernzings were alerted by the suffering increase in the trwastit levels. They ate blankardo alive lounged with his devil cat awhile and zorged on his powers of x-ray scanning. Nothing could be done, “fuckitscitzow!” swore tongue, “mind your own miltzig” said daybed crapper. But this was all an allusion to proper dongs. After they left, mugger the three headed blanket loving chicken did, and did not milk the remains for signs of a ghost of golly. “I was just discussing…” fish girl was in a giant hat now, that hat was alive and it memgified causing possible trouble somewhere else. Melgit belgit the zelgit tried to stop it all happening so fast by ripping up pieces of paper labeled “slow” but it was too late. The hat closed turning night into day and bungo in a basket full of killer carrot donkey sponge kittens. “noooo!” said sankard, he had just spilt his orange. Sankard spat a glob of bloo into the fire of retaliation. But not was all gost! Glasnost had arrived at last, finally, early. Gigue was carried on the back of bees. Killer bees no less. Each individual bee had a tiny musket filled with macak zunger all the way up to the tits. The population of a small dwarf village was in the way, and sadly the bees smelt the dwarves special delicacy, dwarf eggs!! They were terribly in anger, very very angry besses, they stung the happiness out of them dwarvenstein hither and dither. “aghhh yarghh!!!” they screamed in painy onion. It was a terrible sight to behold, terrible but beautiful.. because the bees were quite colorful and they contrasted nicely against the dwarves rustic shellfish village. The klyee macak zunger carrying bees, left, shaving in almost total chaos. Inflated dwarf kin rounged like over ripe melons shaped like stunggen dwarve. “Im hot” said too hot, leader of the dwarves. At that moment he was sunbathing in rome, unaware that gnomal horror had behisted at groo. Back behind a fence there was a rabbit, but not at any rate was this a rogular sort of rabbit, no, this was the undead rabbit. It liked to eat carrots, undead carrots. It also hopped around with tiny hops, undead hops that is. “No one could kill that rabbit even if they tried” said farmer feces with a look of anger in his bearded clenched teeth and fisted hand at the supermarket. “I can” said a strange voice from inside of the isle of the vegetables. “wha.. who said that?” asked farmer feces. Farmer feces looked around, he was curious and looked underneath the vegetable tray. It would prove to be a mistake which would cost him his life. As he knelt down a medium scale earthquake too place. With the trembling of the earths bosom the supermarket swayed in the wind. A large scale-man-sized pineapple came trembling down from the canyon, the spiky end pointy down it launched itself with shiteing hatred for it’s cultivated oppressors. It japperzowed right into the head of farmer feces, impaling him through it’s brain and making him die in a painfully horid way, making a huggle mess and splattering blood everywhere. “now no one will bye that pineapple” said asparagus “think again!!!” said the Spanish inquisition. Meanwhale.. A bit of fishy came out of a ruddish bin. After a bit of bitey The fish figger came up. It was lugering slowling but at a quick speed. Eventually it came to a stop. “pfeww! That was a nug of blakiah termot hlegeg” it slureaged. It thought to itself slondenzingly by means of the mark of zow imbedded on it’s right she-hoffer. “bakmekak pop!” said a turnip. it had just eaten it’s right rie weight giver onion. All of a colespendion rice spewed forth. But It was not quite. Down in the house couch we can see a chicken. “By the fistful of grabnot” said piilgenfargo. he wailed around faster and swillinglely if came after him. The deadly grabnot wearing it’s sheepshin garp of fox otters and gilben all the way up from hopensilekephaaaghelnig. “pelly van nelly geeel reel wagadfgh!!!” it pounced up but to commeth down the black, right above a hugenzeegh sand garage, the ledge topped ovah and it fell to a grisly end of smere and smeegenphigit. a magic carrot came into being by means of intershod vomit projection and a magnet named hans. it was strange but not strange. Coleslaw. a robotic rabbit called smellenbole pointed out to the twatrister twins that it was not actually a carrot but was actually a mountain made out of screaming half naked nuns. that mountain was hard to climb according to the accordion that talked bongo. "faf pebby, bleb dongle.sqweggy?" sayed the then train. "nelg, doe bleeeeeeagh!" said the large cat-orange-squirrel toaster that was hypocritical and enjoyed canoeing with it's half human demi-moose Celtic sac of eggs. After a toothpick of time that seemed to not go on, the yeltgifner lit up a lantern. "time to cultifane rostrox" said wehgigohx the xyrofnerian yeltgifner. a while later inside of the grey box like coffin shaped dusty fumigated carpet asphyxiation business nook there was a gleen with hair growing on it's hands. inside the mind was a box full of paperclips and sanitary napkins all very carefully. yeltgif yelped in thirst but the dusty dry voice folded against the carpet only to be absorbed by the mites. At that perpendicular moment in a Belgrade tooth funkerling, a bell was ringing inside of a bell named razzlevoxcropthnerianxxyrax. "the bells lunch was lurching on a long haired lounge chair" said Manfred biggles the tobaccocontoonist withering legs. "stop that lumbering jumbering!!" spoked the name of oghx-bleggh as it rustfelgles mistfully on it's bolloking journey to the sqointy named shuperfruket. badly it boggeringly felgled joingingigeh it's gloh all diatrinsicaly pilflik. A hampster chicken was buring in the then hell, this was not to be confused with Gohx! As Gohx walked in the nightness a sense of then profusion was efficorted out of the dustbin lide within his tispockt eyespoket. Ehe street smertin was viewable by the light of the baldy, an oblivious bertin probably with pizza shavings inside the filty blagg store. "thar tensifine" thaought Gohx not only. As Gohx warkled on he didn't want to be out in the groo as xeroforfox could be, would be out there too. Untimely Gohx scorted and sought sour. two days latter a tiny letter appeared on the doorstep of the Koheloleuh. the doorstepian wreld wookended and eyesticulated it as follows: to the bereeewh hat frairly cat. later on lozenge the bilgeit walked on a sandy hill of green grass an ogled the rexidan xyexeyyyeepinthinfigly. stick insects could be seen in the tall dry yellow beach weed but only if you picked a handful. “t’s not very nice” said the ice-cream fairy as she did not float above the moat. Bibly was mowing the lawn. Bees of peripherals came down her salty nonce on slippery slide. The streamy sun wayes all moleay. "puhh huff!!!" say the rodento all furry and grizzly. Bibly statistically mowed his head all over the place making orange streamers everywhere. All of a sudden nothing happened. The grass growed meaner and greener as the day poegressed. Onward Bibbly shook off, undaunted by the nothingness of meaningless pointlessness. Under the soluble cushion of Biblys feet was a small cushion of felm, a substance known for it's cuntability. This was coveted by an invisible tree fern from the caniferous zoological era. It was an escaping bloogrorxigh of thinkly that escorped from the meandering green grass snoot phoo-phoo. Krang called "it's Krang" sayed the other lion. Bibly placed down in her very unique response mothoid. As if bending over to lick up a tasty woirm Bibly whacked the vaket sending the mower on auto remover. Gently she laid on blomby earthenstein in line of zaggerzow. "yahhhplehheh zzz wiz saherk!!" "So long Blimby" said Krang. A bicycle rode Jenny to the supermarket. Inside the supermarket was a dog Called Big yeti. The dog ate Jenny but Jenny didn't die because inside of the dogs mouth was a portal to another dimension. Jenny went through the portal an emerged as a giant version of herself with rats for hands. She was inside of a very small toaster. Suddenly an electrical power cable created a miniature black hole distorting the very fabric of space time this caused a metallic sound to occur. The sound absorbed Jenny turning her into a computer glitch within the code of reality. She then re-emerged as a possessed dinosaur back in the year zero. The dinosaur Jenny ate some berries but they were actually space aliens disguised as berries. Once inside the stomach they proceeded to build a small castle in the shape of Elvis. On a miniature scale inside one of the space alien/berries existed a parasitic life form capable of imitation of robots, moon walking and much more. This parasite creature from the zreron galaxy had constructed a complex system of levers and pulleys inside of the berry alien, with one purpose; to contact the intergalactic broadcasting service in an attempt to overload their call centre lines in a moment of intergalactic emergency. unfortunately one of the pulleys had some clag on it and broke at an unfortunate moment releasing the equivalent of 100 gigatons of energy. The dinosaur Jenny and all within a three mile radius was incinerated and turned into anti-matter in less than 3.1 seconds. Now Zazazoo was part of a much larger lager, but it wasn't very big."pop!" the eye of a cat slug imploded because the television radio did not exist, he thought it didn't. Later that night Zazazoo never even existed in the first place. Inside of the kettle in the attic of feart was a miniture phee phee called phoo phoo. "bad phoo phoo!" said a mime in ham language (the language of hams) After a while the colour of the mimes basic paint turned ready green, incidentally the same colour as badgers milk. The ghostly form turned into a puddle of smee. John fish was frying eggs. Unexpectedly the eggs sent a telepathic distress signal to the toaster, it promptly shot out a piece of toast right into the power socket causing a small ball of fire to occur. Fish turned around only to discover his house ablaze. The household utensils had Risen up. A fork promptly shot through the air and slammed itself into johns head, blood trickled and spurted out. The last thing John remembers is the kettle and vacuum cleaner copulating while the can opener and the blender have a tea party then it all gets dark. John fish awoke only to find himself reincarnated as a toaster on a mission to protect the innocent and uphold the law, he became.. robotoaster! At three pm standard time it started to rain, this so called "rain" caused Robotoaster to have an electrical short out right in the middle of a raging gun ballet with a rouge zookeeper. He fell into a swimming pool filled with celebrities. The high voltage emitted by the toaster caused the celebrities to convulse and probably die. There was also a lobster in the pool, and since he was boiled it became a sort of soup. This "pool soup" was donated to the poor and the proceeds went towards breeding a mutant army of inbred, aids infected chimps, programmed to violently assault the elderly and mentally impaired. Later, on a different planet, near the banana-ray of the seventh sun, plomby skipper was in the dusty east end of blelgehnin working on his cortonic apple-belt, in couch shed sector oh-oh one. The apple-belt was gastrointestinal in nature and it weighed as light as a feather and smelt like nothing. "Hello" said a voice, skipper looked fuckfully up and around, even inside. It was non other than the queen, come to visit his factory. "hello your majesty" said skipper. "hello" said the queen in regal respoise. "what’s up dude?" said skipper. "A matter of most royal importance. The imperial cuisine!" she shrieked. “come again” said skipper. The queen said no thing but after some time She ate skipper promptly. He had been carefully selected for his tasty flesh, raised only to meet the fate of cannibalism by her royal highness. "Buuuurp!!!" said the queen to her advisors. The Queen’s advisors carefully scribed her words onto a parchment. Once they had finished a messenger was sent to inform the nearest kingdom. When The messenger arrived he passed on the news. Soon, trumpet fanfares sounded and the herald walked onto a raised plinth “hear ye hear ye!! Shouted the herald. The Queen says “Buuuurp!” the crowds cheered and applauded the good news. “I don’t believe Buuuurp!” said a scruffy and somewhat ill tempered peasant. The guards had him thrown in the dungeons. "deep inside the elephants hollow toenail there lived a colony of panda rats who ate fleas. They were turning a deer into a rabbit with the sheer force of their saliva, and that was just the beginning." said Fred. "That’s a nice story" said Fred’s mother. Suddenly Fred exploded. Fred’s mother made the bit's into tomato soup. Strangely, the cat enjoyed the soup even though it didn't contain any meat, except for Fred. Fred’s house had become a portal to the netherworld. A giant brain came up and enveloped the dwelling while shooting laser beams, these blew up a seeing eye dog and set fire to a nearby orphanage. The brain had a tattoo on it's bottom depicting the life and death of Jesus with eggs made to look human playing all the various roles, some of the eggs where made to look like Elvis. "Hello brain" said Bungo the one eyed detective. Suddenly Bungo saw a crime in progress: a fat man was selling ice creams made from human remains! Immediately Bungo waited until after dark. He then hired a wheelchair from a prostitute. Working through till dawn Bungo completed the device. He had converted the wheelchair into a portable ice-cream stall. That day Bungo opened up a rival Ice-cream stall selling prostitute flavoured ice-cream. "dagart whoon dawgee" said Jexjex the amoeba. Jexjex lived in a sea castle made entirely from ice-cream. Today was telefunken day and Jexjex was having a walrus party with his friends "Duck" and "flying cigar box". They were having a great time with a piñata full of meaty bits and ants when suddenly a pair of gate crashing jellyfish crashed into the front gate. The high impact against the gate broke them up into blobs. "food for thought" said Jexjex as he turned into a monkey and started copulating with a banana. But the banana was actually Dr brain hate in disguise. Discarding his banana costume the good doctor proceeded to give Jexjex a full frontal lobotomy. Brains went everywhere, yes.. even there, much to the delight of the puppies who eagerly licked up the brains. "slurp" said a cute little puppy named hellhound mc killer. A passing donkey named "Kong" mistook one of the puppies for his long lost armless Aunt. Muttering a magical incarnation he teleported into the wrong place at the wrong time: a toilet. Scientists now speculate that Kong may be the missing link, but is he…? inside of the magic dome was a magic spinning dome. It was stationary. later groxliglesh went to the movies and saw a ponding puke shape the bonkerling off England finally to build a small orange boat and fly to zormaquazing bleehgatunaphelgitude. He started dancing spastically to celebre themselves. He was jiving in a graveyard with a magic dancing dead grandma. Arms came orf in the bouncing jubilee, promptly walked to a library, read Shakespeare, bought bratwurst and beat groxliglesh until he turned into a fluffy meringue. That meringue was deranged, but also possibly capable of building a ufo. It liked curry. "poor little meringue" said a passing kettle as it piddled into thin air. qhophobly whasn't at ducklung nor on a boepogly. "myeghlen phu phubly boe poeblot gogliphoon-phoo" said the alien postman to go girl. The alien postman left leaving go girl to read her mail. As he left he mumbled something about a bloonigroo frooty klakka phoopah. Two hours later the news broke. The newsreader had broken it by mistake, and it was beyond repair. Consequently there was no news that day. Meanwhile Go girl had built a large rock with only a spoon and a large rock. She sent it to the museum of art. Two weeks later there was a knock at the front door. It was a midget. "Don’t be afraid. I come in peace" said the midget in a squeaky voice. "What do you want?" said go girl assertively. "I used to live inside a magic rock that was in your back yard. I’ve been on holiday in Barbados for two weeks and today I came back and the rock that was my home is missing. Do you know what happened to it?" said the midget in his high-pitched voice. "I think you should know, I’ve already got a boy friend" said go girl. Suddenly go girls pet cat "Tiger" came bounding out the front door, It had mistaken the squeaky midget for a mouse. The cat made a calculated lunge; it's fangs sinking deep into the midget’s throat. "Help meeeeee!" cried the midget in obvious distress. Just then the phone rang. Go girl was expecting an important call and didn't want to miss it, But she also thought that she should help the midget. Faced with such an urgent dilemma she found it difficult to come to a decision and remained indecisive for several minutes. As the midgets terrified screams reached fever pitch go girl finally decided to answer the phone. It turns out that this particular call wasn't the one she had been expecting so eagerly, it was from a market research company wanting to ask her some survey questions. When go girl returned, the midget lay motionless on the doorstep, he wasn't alive anymore. Go girl closed the front door and decided to let her cat finish off the midget so as to "hide the evidence". Later in the week Go girl had just about forgotten the incident and was feeling rather optimistic about life in general but as she cleaned out the kitty litter she saw something that gave her a horrible reminder. heggarzoe the mung-fungit was sloggeurgheugh. "ding dang dat" shouted Bungit fonge foo der funkerlinkel. "Auschspritz zer ziggerfeit der saitgeist!" spoke hans liegerfeit. twenty seven and a half hours earlier on the planet mars a mouse was laying in a deep sleep, a very shallow sleep. A cosmic ray passed over the mouse, it was the same ray that had stung the famous explorer "Astronaut Erwin". The mouse soon awoke and promptly started eating the planets surface. It was comprised of a substance made from dirt, rich in vitamins and nourishment. On this healthy diet the mouse would surely grow up to be big and strong. However one day the mouse accidentally consumed a plutonium isotope. Somehow the isotope reacted inside the mouse and caused it to disappear altogether, leaving no matter behind, but it didn't matter because the mouse had a twin brother who lived on a mat behind a material shaped like a cats behind located behind the hind of a natterjack sparrow. On the thirty second platform of the station at qwootby a traveller with grassy bald foliage on their head learnted. The name of this green-scaled individual was Zargox. This moment was at a time when Zargox was on a journey to locate the mysteries of the travelling flowers of dratkeller. These floating anamologies were especially profuse for this time of year and Zargox knew this could mean but one thing; the Shiagphoian Qinxor's were breeding a yak. The creation of such a beast was certainly a dooms day proposition within the gletumine ecology. Any yak would float away, higher and higher, then threatening to unfasten the fragile outer zorming layer surrounding it. The Qinxor's brazen disregard for the anti yak clause could not be accepted, and so, Zargox sought the source of the dratkeller flowers. Perhaps they would lead him to the vivid yak-forming lair, he certainly hoped they would. As the pelican bus neardened the station Zargox checked the time, it was minus twenty three and a half hours. “That’s odd” Zargox thought, as he gazed upon the clock hanger. The wall read eight and a half so it was physically impossibly for this time to occur, unless… Pelgiastrophon. An advertisement appeared on the zorm set "the lezhrupter a device know to disrupt lesbians, yours for just 4.99" "lomby detachemelkzorq" said freegilishintigilimonzotorque. Suddenly the couche he wore turned into a hippo, this hippo then flew to the moon because it needed to find a special hair clipper that was found only on the moon. When hippo reached the moon he met a rock named "Roll" "have you seen the clippers" said hippo. "look over there" said the rock, it pointed out into space, suddenly a solar flare lit up the ink black sky. Back on earth a girl called Jill was building a truck with spikes on it for destruction of the local museum, she was wearing a shiny camouflage boat suit. The shine of the armour was dull but bright. Later Jill got into a sugar submarine under England in order to achieve the writings that had been laid out earlier. Krorg got up, the night sky was filled with the beams of sweet and the sun rose high like a multi mile high dough. "bloggogh boob!" said Krorg as he scratched his pus infected sore that oozed cancerous half dead maggot filled remains of the screaming disembodied dead. Krorg let Bleggart out of the box. "pfew! Thanks for letting me out Krorg" said the little amphibian. Bleggart hopped all the way to school. He was required to attend that school on time, early thyme. Like some sort of animals, his classmates had the capacity to at any moment amalgamate to form one single entity, positively schizophrenic in nature, with petty whims, often cruel and vast arms at its disposal. Bleggart would often walk down by the steaming sea. It had a mist about it, a cold calm mist. Nearby the school building loomed, ugly and imposing. It looked more like a hospital or mental asylum than a school. It had an atmosphere of foreboding surrounding it's premises. Zilgiep Bragged about dey brommling "soomah whoo bleeg me heebee!" he said. "zozozonge malk fate!!" roared zabberstean me fongle. Zilgiep ran for cover from the clover which hovvered nearby, zoaming a borstrain fumpy on org and all that was zimping. inside the cavity Squarm was sleepy, she lay in eyelash tentacles just fastened enough to wraggle. As she began to doze off a noise brought her back to fulfil her consciousness. It was none other than the original ghost. This ghost was toast, thought Squarm, as she had recently bought a ghost trap shaped like a water melon. All that would remain would be a goat and some dust, or so she thought.. This was before the table top incident of course, long before that most sanctuary of poopriat had been established, the rites of count Dracula, firmly declaring: protectem over all spectrums and sphincteral jeebies including spirits from the afterworld not to exclude elephant jiveers and transparent white phoney window wraiths. "So your the human ashtray? it really is an honour to meet you sir" said Harold Dune. At that moment there was a funny feeling inside the bank. It was as if the spirit of cats had stretched out of the sewer. "I am the human ashtray, I eat a lot of ash, day night and day" sang the human ashtray. "He's quite a poet" thought Harold. Exizardobonk and filly could not locate the teleziotranthinktopoktopups. "we're certainly in a bit of a glenshiatrogeldintooqurque aren’t we Exizardobonk. said filly. "I guess It depends on your point of view, it also depends on the amount of folakiteazelindojhorjapheendiwreldohyurul that is localisable at any one moment, well maybe." he said. Then it started to rain. The cavern they were in collapsed burying them both. They were not crushed to death immediately but they were unable to move or breathe. Asphyxiation soon killed them or did it… the rocks could hear the sound of the ocean and they feasted that night, oh how they feasted. ThIs orange peel was speel and deadly, it was yellow. Snoon a bey piled to transpire "yarghhh" said Stanley's as he slept soundly. In Stanley’s dream there was a mechanical umbrella called Zongo who was made from frog butter. Later that day a girl from the rival village called Alfreda had finally gotten to haircut. "About time two" said the hairdresser. Later on the hairdresser spent his money paid to him to give the haircut to a chocolate dog. It was great to see it all making it wraggle. "wreggerlingee" spoke thee frat spong, "me flagga" it coined. Cancerous debris was at the shop, buying spoon. "flea me wheeehh hegisting?" it was extremely square and very nerninkergarell. “snaggering snine give me brine” said mr whale as he sat, motionless and in silence. He was certainly a winner. Up on the top of the lighthouse sat Wenderella and Karlaria. "Gosh it's beautiful up here isn't it?" said Wenderella. Slowly they both closed in on each other, and kissed by the light of the moonlight sonata. Suddenly a rogue iceberg hit them and they all fell down. Karlaria was beaksmacked for good. Her sanctuary shattered, now Wenderella must climb back up to defest the weather master, whom had wrought spoilage upon their sacred relation. News just in: Wenderella has other plans. It turns out that destruction of all weather is not what motivates this crazy gal, nope. She’s just a regular fun loving sort, into roller-skating and fancy shoplifting shenanigans. Wenderlla is currently single and if you will like to make contact then please try and call 0-666 before closing time on weekdays thank you. Mrs Hilta was baking some cookies, but not any ordinary sort of cookies. Later that day she went for a walk in the local park. But in a different part of town evil was brewing, and I don't mean not brewing. At Sam’s electrical shop Sam was working in the back of the shop on a terrible device, created out of over one hundred television remote controls glued and taped together. If properly executed this device would have the power to attract kittens and convert them into hell-bent killing machines. However Luckily, Sam never completed the device because just before it had been completed he got run over by a car. In the wheel seat sat Mrs Hilta... On top of the yellow brick wall there sat a cat. This particular cat was rather unique. It’s name was Conan and it had a secret ability. It's ability allowed it to become immune to any man made weapon or even any sort of attack imaginable. But it had one draw back. In order to activate it's secret ability this cat needed to be fast asleep. Also the cat itself wasn’t aware of it's own powers. Conan the cat belonged to a girl called Menilla. Menilla lived in a house in a big city called "big orange tall tough oven metropolis" or (bottom for short). She liked to bake dough sometimes. One day Menilla was walking down the street in an attempt to arrive at the shop. But all was not well on that day. As she walked she realized how hard it was to walk. "Arg!!" she exclaimed loudly. The reason it was so difficult for her to walk was because she had forgotten her legs, leaving them at home by mistake. She turned around and went back to get them, but it was already too late. Ants had eaten her legs by now. Later on the weekend Joey became aware of zelzigorphone. It was not activated but suddenly it became activated. His head wombled slightly and became a receptor for an antenna. Joey ran to use the power before it could be harnessed by the cult of saint Sinbad. He ran into a shopping center. In a different shopping center something wonderful had just happened. A girl called Weldala had just thrown up. This fact in itself might not be considered wonderful, it might even be considered repulsive by some people. But in puking Weldala had unwittingly foiled an armed robbery. The bank robbers had slipped up and dropped their money bags while escaping. It just goes to show what a person can do if they try hard. But from the squid ink depths of deep space there came an argent distress signal. "Space station Walrus is out of toilet paper!" across the far reaches of the galaxy the cries of the doomed crew could be heard. Eventually they reached a certain detective and his monkey sidekick. "Justice!" shouted the detective, slamming his fist hard on the table. The sudden commotion frightened his monkey causing it to leap in terror from the 5th story window of their rented apartment. Overcame with grief at the loss of his good friend, the detective gave up the good fight and abandoned his plans to deliver the toilet paper. The distress signal went unanswered. "Today I found a duck" said the owner of the hedge clippers in a grave tone. It was sunny outside but they dared not go out because of the power inside the duck. But Just as they thought all hope was lost.. it was. "darn season fer apples" said wino Willy. It was May and the blossoms were ripe bosoms. "argh ferr pahhh!" said wino Willy as he took a swig of his drink. Mary and sally were building a snowman to help their lawyer dad raise funds to save the oppressed snowmen. "I have a vision!" said their dad. "yeeeagh! yeeer blaargh!" said wino Willy. But somewhere else a baby panda was rolling down a hill. It was a cute sight but it caused some serious trouble. As it rolled it's white and black body appeared to be flickering. Bobby looked on; he was at the zoo with his mom and dad. Because of his photosensitivity the rolling panda triggered Bobby to have a massive seizure. He convulsed violently and bit his tongue hard, so hard in-fact that blood sprayed out of his mouth and ears. Despite his parents best efforts to contain him he bounced and rolled right into the bear pit. These bears were hungry and they ripped him to shreds throwing bits of meat everywhere, tearing him limb to limb. A stray dog that was wandering around captured one piece of the meat and shook it back and forth in a playful manner. Floating away at sea was a small stone, nothing special about it. On Tuesday Ductor had an operation to remove his teeth. He wanted to further his career as a rock cleaner and the current fashion was to look old and toothless. But the following week teeth was back in and Ducktor was regretting the decision to have his teeth removed. "bloody goat tits!! why did the surgeons do it! Buggee!" he thought while he ate the jam. "Sluuurp" He said as he slurped some noodles. Unbeknownst to Ducktor his teeth had been secretly sold by one of the magicians who had operated on him. They were now in the hands of a private collector called John, who incidentally owned the world’s largest collection of Elvis memorabilia. But Ductors teeth contained a dark secret, which to this day remains a mystery to us all. "All I wanted was to give teeth the proper respect they deserve.. all teeth" said John as he gazed longingly at the teeth. He wanted the teeth so badly. He would often hold them for long hours at a time, it made him feel closer to the teeth. But one day all that changed. In the suburbia there were the people. They thought they had it all, in their shallow groo. They had their friends and they were like ants. "Lets empty our heads and imitate ourselves" said ducktard487. "ohh ohhh ohhh" said vegerella. Later on the moon rose up and went back down again. It would repeat this process indefinitely. Finally a life changing process had occurred. In an unknown effort, Ellinda had blendarised her pretty fingers, and consumed the rest of herself. Her last words were "I eat Me!" shortly before she ate her own lips. However Thanks to modern science she lives on, in the form of her intestines. But it's not all-good news; Ellinda has now risen to become a celebrity singer. "One day robots may be companions for the elderly" announced the advertisement on the television. Coinciding with the advertisement was footage of creepy, androgenous looking robots. Dr dude, who was watching the broadcast, had an urge to disfigure the robot shown on the television set. "get yer fingers stapled together, come and get yer fingers stapled together only 3.99$" shouted the canvasser. "That sounds like a good idea" said Norbert’s mother. But she regretted it afterwards. The city was bustling that day, bustling.. with terror! Police were trying to track down the culprit of some very disturbing graffiti. A new tag had been appearing, with a very disturbing slogan. "Peace rules!" it read. The vegetable sandwiches were a real favourite at this years picnic, they had been baked especially by Mrs maa. Suddenly it started to rain. "This is sure to put a damper on the picnic" thought Mrs ma. However everyone was having such a wonderful time that the rain did little to spoil the jovial atmosphere. But in a field somewhere a pony was getting rained on. "Neigh" it said in pain. "poor pony" thought Tony, the tiny sailor. He decided to put the pony out of it's misery. When the rain had cleared a rainbow appeared. Mrs ma, her baby tortoises, Sheldon, Anchovoi, Captain Sue and Gazella all cheered. It truly was a beautiful sight. Suddenly Baloona entered the room. She was excitedly waving her arms about. "Calm down, what’s the matter" said Mrs ma. "Everyone come quick!" shouted Baloona. They all followed her, out of the drawing room and down into the garden. Under an old plum tree beneath the rusting remains of a discarded microwave oven a foal had given birth to a gnome. "ooohh it's sooo cute!" cried Mrs maa, foaming at the mouth with sheer joy. Just then Gazella thought she heard an old but familiar sound. She turned around and could hardly believe her eyes “Could it really be?” it was! Lambert the missing lamb had returned. “oh we’ve all missed you ever so much” said mrs maa “baaa” said Lambert. They all hugged Lambert but Baloona hugged him a little too hard. “blaaaa blaaa BLEWEEE!!!!! SHPLORPSSSSSS!!!! Dr grommlin was out with his shoulder blades. "senzica blocque phoo blionixzow!!" said taxi driver. He walked down the flooded avenue and looked across at the icebergs on the other side of town, then he walked to the big house. Inside the big house was a trap door leading to a fire-breathing creature in the wine cellar. Upstairs there were catacombs in the attic fillzed out with stone mummies. Outside beyond the icebergs was the checkerboard of green grass islands. Sharks and sea serpents swam those waters; string signs were used to guard the piles of sand. There were usually some travellers there from the outer lairs. Outside the big house the garden was lush and green, it resembled a well-kept English country garden. At it’s end was the entrance to the dead fish sea. Dr Grommlin arrived at the Irish house. An Irish couple lived there, they rented their house for a party. It was an awkward place. The front room was gold and crimson, rather like a hotel foyer. Dr Grommlen left, frightened by the creatures that came from the upper rooms, they were the capturers. That led him to the next location; A towering skyscraper. With it's various stair ways it was an elaborate maze, leading up, where to? "ever so cold inside" he thought. A time vortex partially damaged the doctor, as he left to recover, the bleak sunlight appeared. The containers inside the university had caused a parallel. The doctor ran down the back train path, through abandoned buildings filled with vines. There had once been a gallery there, also the entrance to a ghost fish market, but only fragments of it remained. Lately a hotel had taken over this area. The doctor had spent the last week and a half trying to escape from it. Various new doors kept appearing but keeping him trapped in the same three rooms. He could look out the window and see the imitation neighbours, but escaping this way would be impossible. Eventually an opportunity to escape had arisen. The hotel had temporarily become a space castle, during this period it had exits into the mall of dread, a floating belltower and the third, glass exit to the university, the one located in the night with the glowing shrines and luscious ferns. The doctor had managed to coax room service into giving him the key to the mall, and had escaped successfully. However the mall itself was then beginning to lurk on it’s own. “who manifests it ‘self in the form of this complex being is the true form of the university shopping mall architecture” the armour from the big house had once said. In the mall every creature was part of certain hell. Dr Grommlin travelled back in time to the school, not the original school but to the distorted vision. He found a path leading to yet more complex architecture; smooth sand coloured stone, with doughnut like holes. Further on he found a vast steep hill with an impossibly high red brick wall on one side. However the capturers had followed him this far into the dream. They could camouflage themselves to fit in with the dream landscape then unexpectedly fill the mood with sudden terror of the most unimaginable proportions. They would stop at nothing to complete transmogrification. On numerous occasions Dr Grommlin had needed to make hasty retreats from his dreams, often when he seemed closer then ever in reaching the source of the dream. “do minds create their own universe? Or does something else?” Dr Grommlin sought to reach the heart of his dream, to discover what was really there. Because of the toaster trolls, it was now raining the alive fire. "I’m on fire" said fire a to fire b. This was a sad thing. "maybe the boxes would go on fire" thought hombre as he ate his burrito. But inside the burrito there lived a tiny colony of elves. They were roasting father Christmas in a giant gas oven. "naughty elves" said Fred who spied them with his microscope. But Mickey zwagnoght was having nothing of it. "Bloahghhh" he said as he handed it back to the dalek for a refund. But what Mickey had assumed was a dalek was actually a trashcan with some rotten scraps inside it. Still, it was pretty lifelike. Suddenly he thought he saw a thing. It was bugerreedoo the yaks bladder, or was it... Buttons! by the thousand of them, all inside the sewing shop. This was unprecedented, especially due to the fact that the sewing shop was an invisible ghost sewing shop located underground. Above that place on the surface was a university lecture theatre.” often cows say moo" said the biology Teacher as he explained the complex order of environmental systems. One of his eagerly listening students sitting in the audience was Funko. At that point He was suffering from a case of snot fever so he took a swig of his asthma puffer. But Funko was often unaware of the burger. It lingered there, inside of a plastic bag in the ceiling. It was a burger, an old smelly burger, that had been left by the cleaner. It was a burger and it was very rotten. When Funko returned he started building a breasted sculpture; his thesis on the Brest mechanism of frogs. It was a work in progress but it worked. Then in a sudden moment of total horror, the sculpture lunged forward and gouged out Funko's eyes. "Argh! My eyes!" he said. Later when he had recovered, Funko decided to take up sewing, with disastrous results. Holtoonfiac was washing dishes. They were rather germy. "pass me that plate" said Holtoonfiac in a gruff tone. But it wasn't it, or was it.. Lately they had been getting it in the mirage paddies, where a street was gleepin and a girl lorkled. That girl was mrs Smith. As she walkended down on a semi Sunday, she was ateing the eggs. She was not anti ateing. They looked around like a street with lamps and it was just utterly so full of life. "Great grooty mooky, what such heppy!"said Mrs smith, "ive just got the joy in me. It's as if I want to stop the joy but I forget how to stop it." Said mrs smith. Mrs smith walked down to the bookstore. In bloo there was a very different kind of bookstore. In a factory full of rats was the temple of bookstores. Just near it the round elevator shaft that went up to the surface. The bricks were covered in green moss and mutilated rats corpses, many of them. Onside the building were a samurai rat, it fell. On dookling the Brigended were out to go get em. In the sewer dey rats brommled. "Blegerdended day den" said the treesnot plown in a fist of fury. "grede garad rahge" said the smereme in smillenstern. Later on oscillator Kate bought herself a new hat from the booty boutique. "What do you think of my hat?" asked Kate to Drainella. "I think it's a very lovely hat" responded Drainella. The hat was made from foe plastic, it was small circular and triangular. Suddenly a gust of air blew the hat off Kate’s heady head. It flew off and landed down an old coal mine. Kate and Drainella decided to follow the hat down the abandoned coal mine. They walked for what seemed like miles but was actually only a few meters. Eventually they came across an old Christmas. "fuck this shit" said Kate to her furry friend, but she was never to be seen again.. Located on a mossy cliff, reading a book sat a large tadpole called Wondable. At eight o clock Wondable mutated into a disgusting flying cicada and flew to the office of saint Fred. Wondable the mutated cicada smashed through the window of the office sending shards of glass around. "what is that thing?" said melanoma, the drink and paper cup organiser in charge of the refreshing beverages. "ahhh ahhh ahhhh ahhh!!" shouted biliger biksor in total terror. "mlergh!!" said Wondable, he only wanted to be friends, and yet he couldn't control an urge to eat their faces off, which is exactly what he proceeded to do. "spleurp!!" he said as his mandibles ripped through the tender flesh of the humans, devouring them and melting them with his acid saliva. Latter on inside of the house on the hill a romantic scene was going on. "ohh honey ohhhh!!" said Mr bumble bee as he ate the honey. Suddenly wineah da pooh busted down the doorgenstein. "yo drop that honey dude! that’s my damn pimping honey yawl!!" shouted wineah da pooh. Clearly he had been drinking. "Look at yourself pooh bear, your acting like a damn junkie!" said Mr bumble bee. "oh bother! I said give me the freaking honey! Shouted wineah da pooh in a rage. Suddenly pooh bear charged and was stung many times. Yorick was in Norridge, alas poor Yorrick! Suddenly there he was and there he wasn't. He had accidentally been teleported inside the Archbishop of Canterbury. But alas, the cat faeces smelt funny, so funny I laughed, I cried, I wept tears of blood. "We can't go outside because it's too fun to play outside" said frankensteiner to nurse Nothere as he proceeded to implement strategy 27. This was in nothing. "plaheh!!" shouted the Boggerer to itself. In Israel, the magic tits were using the power of saint saliva to generate a giant rock shaped like Elvis, eventually this rock would roll.. down a hill and become at one with the antifactory. It was now up to Nurse Nothere to remove Yorrik from inside the Archbishop of Canterbury, a most delicate surgical operation, probably comparable to brain surgery. Would the operation be a success? or would it end in a bloody mess?.. who knows? do you know? If you do know then please write to us at P.O. box 26 mc doggle street, badger lane, crockerville. There once was a wooden table made entirely from plastic. The table belonged to a girl called Freznateliah. One day Freznateliah had turned into a moose. As a result she was scolded severely by a moose. "How long before they will all be mooses?" thought dr dentist. At that moment He was working hard on an antidote to reverse the effects of the dreaded moose transforming fever, but time was running out! Just then Dr dentist thought he saw a patch of brown fur growing on the palm of his hand. In panic he felt his head with his hands. He could feel two small bumps, was he growing moose antlers? "Good god!!" he said as he reached for his revolver, there was only one way out of this now. Mr book was sitting down. "time to stand up" said mr book as he stood up. "Ok time for some more sitting" he said as he sat down again. But as he sat down something struck him as somewhat odd. It was a brick, with the words "somewhat odd" painted on it. It struck him hard, on the back of the head. Mr book didn't sit down or stand up after that incident, this is because he was now dead. The perpetrator of the brick throwing was an armless cripple who was invisible and didn't know they existed. Why did they throw the brick? And more to the point how did they manage it without any arms? The answer must lie with science. You see back in 1947 there was a donkey. Now that donkey was actually a mule, but it was also a donkey. "OK now it's time" was the famous line of the nefarious sea pirate the horrible dr captain spaniel. On one frosty morning the Captain decided to feed the donkey some asparagus. This is when the very fabric of space-time started being twisted. You see, inside that donkey there was some cookie dough which reacted with the asparagus causing a chain reaction which stated sucking space time inside this donkey through it’s lower abdomen. This is what allowed the invisible cripple to throw that brick, all those years into the future. Frotey had twisted his ankle. It got caught in a Venus fly trap and then a Polynesian had whacked him over the head with the oar of a boat. later when he awoke Frotey was a boat oar, not much fun, because he couldn't move on his own accord, nor could he see nor hear. But did he truly become a boat oar or was it just a dream? Who cares anyway? My name is Vanessa and one day I ate some toast. But this was not ordinary toast because it was burnt toast. Not ordinary burnt toast either because it was wet burnt toast. On top of that it was also sentient wet burnt toast. "don't eat me!" said the sentient toast. But I ate it anyway. Unbeknownst to me at the time, the sentient toast had put a curse on me. The curse made me wheat intolerant. Now I can no longer eat toast. If I eat toast then I turn into a green rat who can teleport squid. If that green cursed rat makes contact with a squid then it produces an enzyme, which can make the air smell like dirty grey onions. At ten o clock a melon appeared inside of a cat. This cat was located inside of a shopping trolley. The trolley was stationary. The trolley was located inside of an underground car park and the cats name was Waffles. Waffles was orange, but not for the colour blind people, they saw Waffles as blue. Twenty-seven and a half hours later the melon had vanished or had it? Waffles started speaking "I’m hungry" he said. Because Waffles was hungry he decided to eat some waffles. "I’m not hungry anymore" he said after he ate the waffles. A girl who was wandering around inside the underground car park saw the orange cat and took it home with her. She decided to give Waffles a bath and preceded to do so, however Waffles got sucked down the plughole. Waffles was moving rapidly along with the mouldy old bath water until he found himself trapped inside a net and hauled aboard a ship. The tiny fishermen had rescued him. Waffles then ate the tiny fishermen. "Burp!" he said, but there was no one listening, except for Alice. Alice decided to eat the orange cat, so she did just that, except that she didn't. Instead she drove a car over a hill, past a fence and over a road. On the road was a vole, which ate the vehicle, along with Alice. Alice was at the time in the passenger seat being driven by a goat. The goat managed to escape the deadly clutches of the vole by using interstellar vomit projection right at the last moment enabling it to develop wings and fly into a black hole. The goat was to re-emerge, but where.. just where? "moving bricks isn't easy, especially if your a brick" said Tim to his astrologer. "ok, Venus is in line with Uranus which means that the solar powers will make you win the lottery" said the astrologer. Thanks for the info chum but I’m actually a cop and you’re under arrest for the crime of giving false predictions. In a panic the astrologer turned on his pet parrot and ravenously started chomping it down. "Hey stop that! that’s disgusting" said special agent Tim, but he was too late. Feathers and parrot intestines went everywhere "Bloogg Blooorph!!" the intestines lassoed around an incandescent lamp and set fire to the cinematoscope, the tent they where in soon became a deadly hellfire trap. In the flaming inferno Tim thought he could see a doppelganger. Against all the odds they were the boggering. Sqwelly was on blaxinzantrope. Grated his ankles up unto the meat by unfortunate accident. Later the gingerbread men was surfing inside his stomach juices, they gingerbraced. His pet cat nurtured him back to life and he grew to become a wonderful garden full of all sorts of malevolent beasties and amazing ants. Byerk was building a hat out of crab meal, when suddenly he fell in love. The pool of love had a corrosive affect on Byerk’s flesh and all of it melted off leaving nothing but the bleached bones. The bones had a life of their own when grandma arrived. " what a wonderful world it is" said mr dread hate as he burnt the bones. "Stop burning those bones!" said grandma, so she ate him. Later on grandma was grannying around. She was just mega granying and it made sparks come out of her wheels, but then out of a dustbin came Horace the horrible hairy hamster. "SplishSS!!!!" grandma rammed him into the brick wall, and not a moment too soon because he was just about to. The audience cheered at grandmas coronation as they awarded her the medal of honour for her act of extreme bravery. Blenda was running at full steam ahead. "bleahghh gahaaaa!!" She said. She accidentally bumped into Mrs oh-gravy, sending her flying. Mrs oh-gravy flew through space and time, until she flew up a cosmic nose, which in an allergic reaction sneezes. Small particles of felm were passed through the great nostrils. Flying through space they eventually landed on your food just before you ate it. Now Qrogornathin was quinxing. "by faff!! stop that quinxing right now you megaring meg head!" said it's mother, Zanze as she folded zansots ligherstoo. "bloooughrorque ploon deathroqe zoolieperpliegenspiel" Muggering bugeee shieinten fugger! by Boon POooN The timeehhaeh were fuggering count kludensten. Kugger.neh foo foo, but blergh had other ideas. "Iditots, zonger pork!!!" "my mother You!!!" said Henry Kissenger to Richard Nixon. Srappy was walking his dog scrappy. Suddenly the rabid dog went insane. "yaaarhhhghhh!!!" screamed a gnome-troll in total horrific terror as the mongrel mangled the harmless passer-by, jaws ripping the carcass into a bloody mess of organs, lungs and intestines. "don't worry he's only playing" said Srappy, but he wasn't. Just then the rabid dog lunged at his throat, severing the head, which resulted in a fountain of blood that sprayed three meters up into the air! The bloody mangled mess was visible from space along with the Great Wall of China. Gorged on the blood of its victims, the dog exploded into a bloody mangled mess of blood and mess. fishing on the shipping Warf was a fisherman called Kate. Kate cuaght a fish at approximately three oh clock. "You should be ashamed of yourself for inflicting pain on that poor fish. How do you know yourself Kate?" " Said the green peace activist to Kate. "How do you know my name?" asked Kate "because I am the devil" said the activist in a demonic voice. Suddenly Kate became aware that she was not alone in the universe. Pandas could smell what she thought only she could smell. Shipping done the slumber returned to it's natural state; a festering mass of maggots. Hisbert ate the festering mass of maggots, and then the festering mass of maggots ate Hisbert, from the inside out. In the smelly rat hole on mars, there was a rat named Snoddy. He was nibbling on the polyps in the giant intestines. But one day the tranquillity of the place was ruined by a peace full lark. "Bloody lark!" said fern the treestern as he ate a hamster-squirrel. This hamster-squirrel had up until that point been the last of a dying race of hamster-squirrels, hunted for their tasty fur they were wiped out almost to extinction, up until now. Captain earth, decided to prevent the last hamster-squirrel from dying out, by forcing it to copulate with a pair of scissors, but it didn’t work. Overcame with grief he visited a zoo to cheer himself. But the elephant puker, was in the zoo, puking elephants. Then a dude at the zoo said, "give me an ice-cream dude" to the hotdog seller dude but the dude didn't comply with the dudes orders because he was actually a poly-morphic robot bent on electric-hellsatan. "Zorble!" said the robot as the ice creams transformed into metal spikes and zapped with deadly, laser rays right into the dudes eyes, melting them. Now inside of reject, there was a reject oven. "stop being a reject!" said the reject oven, but it was rejected. There was a canyon, in a subterranean place. Deep in the canyon there were ladders, which lead up to a house without walls, with long rooms, and dry wooden boards. Bird was at a rock concert, at nighttime. It was a massive event with thousands of people, all sitting in rows of seats facing the central stage. The canopy opened up to the night sky, which was filled with stars, but they were inside. Bird was not interested, and wanted to get out quickly. He walked through an exit that was located at the highest ponit above the rows of seats. Now Bird was in a corridor lined with red velvet curtains. Exiting through a door at the side, Bird emerged into an oak forest that encircled the auditorium. Running through the night down the oak tree hill he eventually reached an ocean. Chemicals coming from the stage had poisoned the ocean. Bird discovored a green frog that was jumping on the bleached semi-submerged coral skeletons. Bird went to a nearby station and took a train to a distant place. The journey took many hours. Eventually Bird reached a raging river, running through white stone. There was a school excursion, the subject of which was to show the class a pig being killed. Bird didn't want to watch the pig killing, nor did he want a pig to be killed. Bird didn’t understand why it should have to watch it or why it was organised to be a school excursion. The teachers said it was important for the class to see but he did not agree with them, Bird thought they were mad. Bird tried to escape but found that he was trapped. In front of him there was a transparent plastic barrier and on his sides and behind him he was flanked by an impenetrable wall of people. Bird tried to squeeze through, but they would not budge an inch. He eventually gave up in frustration; it was impossible to escape and they were getting ready to start. Behind the plastic barrier there was a man with a double barrel shotgun and a tied up pig beside him. The man was wearing a short-sleeved shirt, jeans and boots. He resembled a butcher, and was 30 years old. The butcher pointed the shotgun at the pig and fired, hitting it in the neck, taking out a large chunk. The pig was still alive and squealed and writhed horribly. Witnessing this was very distressing for Bird . Then The man took another shot and exploded the pigs head entirely, sending bits of pig-brains and blood splattering all over the transparent plastic barrier, but there were also a few bits that went over the barrier and Bird was afraid that some might have landed on him. Bird felt sick in the stomach. There was an acrid smell. It was the smell of the pig’s blood and it made Bird feel even sicker. dey brommling. "Can the collective intelligence of humanity, mined by the use of automated web bots predict a dooms day event?" inquired fried to the chicken. "bungern!!" replied the chicken, or did it? or did you just imagine it? the aid was airy that day, very airy. Saucy The smeller certainly had her work cut out for herself, shed it into little white paper arm linking peoples. Butt bunny was at the berg, but ribbon Alice rejected. "You bunny aint the bunny" spoke Alice, but the spoken tongue was tough and assailant. "nungohol" was what they thought, but it weren't quite that way it seemed. Fergusten felghted in panic boon. But He wern't actually there. Alice walked down the road and searched in a bin for the missing ribbons. "drat" said Alice, as all she could find was the garbage and head. The garbage wasn't missing after all, it had been placed in the ruddish bin not out of accident but thorough pure purpose. A being of great wisdom had placated the power, they knew, whatever from of foaming rabbit it were it KNEW! "baybe!!!" Miss skelter was skelting. It was quite allot of skelter by any means. But zork had other plans, and accidentally created membles, lots of the little blaggards. Skelter loarded her blond bolard. Inside it was the tasty squells that ended in faf. On the inside they ate dead. They wore like a shirt of zoo, and thankfully, it were quite fucktfully infract. But shirted was not the only problem. You see, Sharrot shite, the emblem of the frog lord of zexthranzorpe had appeared. it were brommling when suddenly it stopped, just as before inside it the train had sought the squid juice inside of wibble-zoo. This ruptured the pelm on top of mount hogelphort where squelbit the naf fageart lived. it were squelly, or were it? Elvis had evaporated just in time for the fronted of fort fokker to sprout tea, the tea of doom. "i couldn't find the doom tooth" said squed to flam tart donko "that’s not impossible, but I though it could be my mother" said flam as he held tightly onto the cheese. He ate the cheese. But that chewy cheese rebelled inside his innards, causing his guts to burst out and make a mess. But never the less, donko held the cheese tightly. "im never going to let you go" said donko. "I will love you forever no matter what you do to my insides" shouted donko as the cheese further melted his flesh. Suddenly the pope entered. "Pop!" the pope Poped and left nothing but a puddle of lice, pope lice. They carried a nasty disease called "Aids-Faith". Donko, having noticed this dangerous threat to humanity, discarded the cheese, regrew his lost flesh and stomped those lice until they were deader than mount Frankenstool. The shoe wore like a glub. Squorth wasn't at it though. wheat was in the evil well, but how did it get there? or wasn't it really there? There where many unanswered questions. the color of the questions. or couldn't it? but then how can it when it be? "This daunty gangreen. it is all that it is!" said the wizard to slothbobe. When breeh were in zer Qerlthironthrope, or were it? the brommel wasn't at all but an all it were was dey bremming. When and suddenly shilpinghehaust could snod, elbenhelfugh were wibble, all zoo and snizort. Twelv'ensten the bit snatzens could all do wraggle an ant... said ant. I found maggots in the kitchen yesterday, they were crawling around in some old food left on the kitchen table, this isn't the first time it's happened. I try phoning up people who I know but they never get back to me. It's so hot I can hardly think, and I get headaches when it's hot, and my nose bleeds for long time. I contacted my best friend from high school the other day. The last time I spoke to him was about a year ago. I asked him what he does these days. He told me that I would need to know him personally in order for him to tell me that. Imworking on my computer game. Aunty flo was at the pumpkin ball, but the pumpkin was actually a squash, it squashed aunty flo after a midget pushed it down the Cinderella star case. the fageart were, But then suddenly, the fagering. Dey blomples fuggering all wongly. fungee fungle. Timmy mc spew went to the castle of count fudgenstein. It was raining and the rain failded heavy on the many wook mumbles. "Dr zoo, heloo!! you scoldy old bastard I knoist your in there!" scouded Timmy as he entred it through the frosty oak doog. It were all wormy and such was it that the scound scorted and could be heard as far as fattinstein, the district of the pongo. Onward marched Timmy tarbucke, like a christiopon soldier in soilded under pants. Just then the doc appeared. "hobodokeey. Get out of my house this instant!" said the doc in tome of anguish. "you created this tin oapner" said timmy with the determinatiojn in his voice mounting like some wild steed on viagra. "yes I am the inventor of the tin oapner but that dosen't mean to say that I am a god, No I am much more than a god I am the reincarnation of zorgoth the mungee, AND NOW My goat chicken will devour you now. "Aaah no!" said timmy but it was too late. The Goat chicken certain did devour him and then they devoured each other then they devoured the castle and then they devoured the nation and soon the goat chicken were the last thingy, infact is that one behind you right now as you are reading theis?? AAAAAHGHHHH!!!!!! nacey the, The girl was being all girly. Suddenly it stooped over and picked up a woirm. "hello woirm!" said nacey with the girlingness blooting out her fecal muskles. "faf off!!" said tthe hungry woirm, so she ate it. "tastes like aunt marelldas home made hungerian goulash" Thought sally and her salty pet parrot, "parrot shite". Parrot shite was badgering, just then it happned. Fuckart opened the toast stool creating membles and wurebling the holocause into aunty twenty seven. It ate goats and elvis presly saw the fungee just before all the ghosts were toast. mama yabba was yabbering away, just howldling the phoon phoo, when suddenly castratious rushed into the pathway of boon. "boolierehrg moogilerg captain alf" it said it its gruff but lovable (in some sick way) cigarette tone. It turned into ash that was snorted up by the elephant prostitutes. Scabby the girl was going to a party. It was a horrible party, like all partites. There, at this party was an assortment of the most awful disgusting people that you wouldn't want to meet. Did you know that most people are awful trash, originally from a lake of pure fecal-rectal filth? Where did you think they come from? they are vermin. Violent alchoholics who train their children to be Violent alchoholics. They aspire to nothing but violence and alchoholism, and they hate thinkers. They need to be shot. in the shadow of the big ant there was some grey dirt. "hello do you like waffles?" asked the big ant to it's friend "antlers" the dude-tooth, but there was no respoinse, all that could be heard was the moisture-less wind whistling over the parched cracked earth. It was hot and dry. Macken flounders was there also and he felt awful. The dust irritated the back of his throat, and his lungs were bleeding from the sharp microscopic dust, just ripping at his throat and lungs. Mackens mouth was floury and dry, with a taste of spent saliva, evaporated on tongue; his head was reeling from the hot sun as the fierce light slowly cooked his skin. His brain was sweating in the heat and he was stumbling around, confused and disorientated. Nancy mc doo was at the shrimp bar. It was raining and Harris hadn't arrived yet. Just then Harris arrived. "what took you so long?' asking Nancy, her voice sounding deep and masculine but also very feminine. She vocened a guttural yet soft tone, sqwounding but not pounding. It was like laxative for the ears, like a spanner on a living bunny, until that bunny stops moving, and the sound smelt but it were also crispy to listen to, it was like the voice of an old log and it sounded like cream butter with hints of motor oil, oil taken from a newly sanded wooden pirate leg, not an old sounding wooden leg with a squeak, oh no!! a crisp sounding wooden leg with a squeak. That poor wooden sounding voice, with a touch of gloss, hand glossed by years of wobbling in the sadness that sounded like she was trying to talk, was she? Mick the wuzzle rodent was nucleating his dumpster rugs. He was Just zorking them out, making beautiful little flourishes of saliva when suddenly a donky come home. Mick ate the donkey but to his dismay it bleeded tasty wuznut blood. Then fux crew arrived, and whipped the senseless judite donkey. Mick routed internet connections for a living. He often falocated for a woman called Smendy, who, incidentally wore a stooth of plaid welmin rodent rack, 100% Nicaraguan fecles. "want the mayonnaise old but not too cold, just enough aging to get the routers on fire, like me baybe!" said Smendy, as she wozle and woked like a tardy spam full of badger doogle. "naegh! it's gone trout, No, don't do it that way baybe, no NO!" But it was too late. As she injected the power socket connections into the badger it exploded, frying Meats, arms and legs all the way to saint homes meats. The sweet meats were sold by father Christmas, the sweet human meats that is. the little beetles were green and grey, and they threw the tooth. The biggest beetle became sub-coitus, and was the mother of several goats. Salad was walking home to buy some fallen-salad from the local green grocers. Then suddenly Salad saw some grass. In the grass there were little green beetles. They were quite hard to see, because they sparkled like magical dewdrops from the fountain of fungus. Salad poiked up the beetles and ate it, now she wasn't hungry anymore, or was she… The sky was filled with red clods, and a strong smell of marmalade pervaded arouhgh, until it was gone. inside of suhuperfruket sad fred, the manager of the suhuperfruket. He sat there, ateing butter in the back room. This was his pastime and it was good too, because it made him puke. This puke was exported all over the world and went all over the money. Them moneys got all pukeed. Once they would be passed over to the consumers they would tell the difference and shat themselves into a frenzy, because they were not told about this sort of thing. This thing was required under section 27 of "ye fucke" and it was potently disabling as well as capable of causing transgeneracy. But that wasn't an issue for sad fred, as he was an android, capable of manufacturing butter from inside his stomach. It needed to be stopped at all costs, cretainly. The only man braved enough, to do this thing was Fat John. Fat John used an exploding cork to first enter the suhuperfruket and then came face to face with the android. "your numbers are dazed" sod John. "so, squibble. you think you can stop me? wrong. I will never stop my butter" said android as he shot deadly butter from his stomach. flipper was happy, or was he?. "do the crust of ear does it?" smeldned the flaffy, bixiot on turnip the mountain of goat. fipper was cutned up, for use in tuna salad, "pow, Bow! how about that for dolphin meat. Not friendly?" spoike hombas, the bastard. He fooked, he fook, but booke were welling up the sat raurian. Feckles woobded Hombas, were it because of his bastardy, skowk. If anything Hombas could Skowk, vey helting, it melgled and purted any fook. Hombas was a bastard alright, but what did this tell us about him?. If you look deeply at your cruddy crust can you find any bastard bits? your self examination is more than just a pizza. Evaluate it and just when you zhink you have adovled into a higher form, you may realise many more faults, or is that just it. Daggles wife had lost his head, a horrid head that could scream into the abyss. "This planet sucks". thought jimroy. as jimroy pondered wether to dust off the flounder he came home. Jimmy jimroy had hiccuped up the tea and now it was time for you to claen it up. He couldn’t use the bath room because there was no privacy anyway. spy cameras watched him always, hidden even in public toilets. Jimroy hated being watched by Adolph Hitler. But Privacy was too much to ask for these days. When Jimmy roy articulated his distrust of adlof hitler at parties, his friend people sneered at him or even laughed. The internet was recording every single activity jimroy did and using the information to advertise some new kind of cola or anal wipe. The foundation had been laid for a dystopia of regressed chimp and chips. Who was human anymore? They were the plastic dude-tubes. Pimpingly they pimped their pimping hoe rights to toilet paste, accepting dull offers from robot foetuses. You could get a plan for access to the internet and e-nut with tude-tube. Biggly nut joe the one man flea circus made a joy of the evening. Wilbert scrogheherety was the star attraction. A human flea cannon ball from the age of ate, she was launched from a miniature cannon sending the little black bugger flying towards smelbert. "Badgers!!!" shouted smelbert as he ate ham, but the ham was actually human meat. His granny "Mrs grandma" had a taste for hungry human flesh and every day at midnight she would crept into the cemetery and cut of the loose body parts for use in her "special stew", this stew was actually contained human meat. Thankfully she was caught one night by santa, who ate her instead of his usual meal of cooked elves. But grandma was reincarnated as a giant potato and came back to haunt the living dead. As a giant potato grandma could roll, she squashed pets in a vengeful fury. Biggly nut joe used toothpaste on his navel to try and rid it of the fleas, but to no avail. they had burrowed inside to where they were breeding midgets. One day at the dinner table biggly joes chest exploded. Emerging like some alien face hugger were the midgets. They ate the faces off of the chicken children. Chickens are fed growth hormones and steroids to make them develop more quickly. This means that profit will increase because more chickens are being sold faster. Chickens are also fed small pellets made from the crushed bones, blood and faeces of other mass farmed animals. The process of making animal by products into feed and other goods is known as finishing. In the United States, stray animals that have been picked up off the streets and put down through lethal injection are sent to the finishing plant, where they are made into animal feed. The grabber grabbed, weasels, many already having laid half nuggets used their golden opportunity to be grabbed as opportunity to tell the story of the eggs. "many years ago atop a high hill on a dusty prairie somewhere in nowhere there lived a big green thing" said mother fuehrer, she continued. "this green thing had the capacity to lay eggs, green eggs.." "where the eggs edible?" interrupted snorky the badger weasel. "no, they were just green" said mother fuehrer "but the green thing couldn't force-feed his pet pony the eggs, no matter how hard he tried. So he was left with no other choice but to send his pony to the glue factory" "wow what a great story" shouted the weasels as they all cheered and clapped in a frenzy. Down by the river we can see a squid. This squid has cancer, but he can cure himself with a taste of the wrazzle magic ink. Now he has done so he has become a happy squid. "My name is Kizonk" said the squid in an inky tone. "I like you" said Kizonk to the bread. "you shouldn't" said bread. Kizonk wondered what bread had meant. Was it too early? Kizonk wondered about what bread thought about him. He kneaded bread. "In the bleaky black depths of my mope i do despair" said the happy talking hippo to kizonk, so kizonk teleported rage into the mind of the creature. Now suddenly becoming a beastly hippo, that very creature became a balloon and pooped. Horghwoo the buck blegh saw and cut off ozlicks woodle. "piney hiney hroghh broghhgghgh!!" said feltsher as he helded moke monkle’s formula of Christmas, the reggae dimwit known as pelnwitech. Thogart that she girl used as a frying pan had method to zonger and fold fat. Feltsher and Thogart committed mass massacre on yeast by using the spoon of gloom to vindicate mass distinction of the sleepy Jewish rice. The fellas objected to the salt being rubbed into their brains to cure their epilepsy, so we used sugar instead. The sugar used was belonged to the she. At this juncture the turtles, were actually rabbits of the order of "Thorg". She ate it. She was the she from tissues to mincers. "all aboard" shouted Thorg, so they aboarded the yeast train. In the cabin was a figure. This retreated figure was a baguette. Thinly it had it's fat melgeded by Thorg. Hagard walked down to the beach. The sand there was very soft and smelt like ocean salt and dried up sea fish. Hagard walked to the rocks and saw red crabs crawl on those rocks. The crabs were feasting on a hand. It was cool here, under the rocks, sea lice crawled beneath the rocks and snacked on the salt. A snake crawled around and jelly fishes bobbed up and down in the waves. There was a cold meloncholy cloud looming, but still the heat of the sizzling sand was there but it would went away soon, and Hagard knew it. We heckle Hagabrid from atop the top of the tower. Hagabrid is at the bottom of the tower in the minefield. There’s some trees near the mine field but not much coverage and it's all dusty grey earth, bone dry but not sandy. It's like old wood. Hagabrid may attempt to hide in the trees or maybe he'll step on a mine. We shouted at him but we're so high up he probably couldn’t hear us. Hagabrid made it to the pyramid. It's surrounded by a large hedge maze full of tropical trees with vast snaring roots. Inside the Pyramid Hagabrid met Frankenstein who told him to enter Hal through the burning pit of fire, which he soon did. It was a cold and cloudy morning. Onion wakened up, slowly, with pains and odd sensations inside of himself. He lived inside a house. What privilege to have a roof over head. on the street, hidden from view, people hided. It wished for their revenge upon society, so many of them in-fact, through circumstances not of their own control, should reject the accepted fact of their destitute and rise up. "To see the heads of the bank managers roll. Rivers of blood run down the street as the conceited, apathetic, middle class are slaughtered by their exploited. Every Judge is a hypocrite, laws are made to empower the rich. The idea of justice is perverted. Politicians give their children privileged positions. I want anarchy!! Bloody murder and death! Murder the wealthy! Murder the political elite" said onion to himself. He then went to the kitchen. "learning french is like learning to french kiss, from a snail" said Drobdle hansworm, to the interviewer. "yes I see, and apart from that what makes you think your right for this job?" asked the interviewer. "well, I have great social skills at talking to people and also working in small teams. Im always reliable very on time and I have a keen sense of smell" said Drobdle. "do you have a degree in vestiary science?" asked the interviewer. "why yes I do, it's right here in my pocket" replied Drobdle. He showed the paper to the interviewer. "Hmm, OK you get the job. You can start immediately. Your first duty will be to put down all the stray and elderly animals at our animal shelter. Get to it! When Drobdle arrived at the shelter a greyhound with rabies bit him. Now Drobdle dribbles. the flooded pool flooded into the grass. "you are not the one who did this are you?" asked the foucker, captain of the butter squad. "nein" said the German, His genestic lingo were becoming part of the same species. "i believe it was leaked by the scrizzle" pointed out the lingo, he continued "never the less we must ever be vigilant against this leakage" "your just saying that because of your trade" said the foucker, he continued "you see we all need to ignore the television, just ignore the television, but how much of us live of to our woirm?" said the German "in any case, I have a case of tellevitis, acquired tumour induced brain tumour" said the foucker.David went into the drain, climbing downwards using his long suction cup feet. Deep at the bottom of the well, under the black shimmering waters there were mountains. A whole subterranean place inside it, without of a sky. He couldn’t pass though it so he just stopped there, forever. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------